Tom Dubois was distraught over the prospect that his wife might be cheating on him…with the pop star Usher. To get him out of his funk, his neighbor enlisted the aid of a relationship consultant—A Pimp Named Slickback.
No. A Pimp Named Slickback. You say the whole thing…like A Tribe Called Quest. His name is A Pimp Named Slickback.
Anyway, this “relationship consultant” diagnosed that some of the passion had gone out of Tom’s marriage and he was perhaps not providing enough excitement for her. He reassured Tom that it was a normal occurrence in long-term relationships.
“And you can help me fix it?” Tom asked.
“Hell naw! Imma help you make that b*tch behave! She wants excitement she can take her a** to the movies!”
Fortunately these weren’t real people but characters from the Adult Swim cartoon The Boondocks. Season 2, Episode 2 to be precise.
Unfortunately, people take Slickback’s…er…A Pimp Named Slickback’s approach to relationships of all sorts.
Whenever I hear someone say anything like “I wish I could get my kids to care more about school” or “If only I could get my husband to be more thoughtful” or “everybody needs the product I’m selling—I just can’t get them to see it” I recognize they are following the Path Of The Pimp.
They are frustrating themselves by trying to make people behave the way they want them to.
I recognize this because I have been guilty of the same thing myself. I have often fallen victim to the belief that everything in my life would be perfect if I could just get people to do, see, and understand things my way.
Since we have precisely zero control over other people, making our happiness depend on the behavior of others is a sure way to frustration.
What I have found is, it is far more fruitful to focus on mastering one’s own emotions. Self mastery is The Way Of The Warrior.
But what about all those people who still won’t behave?
I’m glad you asked.
While you can’t force people to behave the way you want, you can establish boundaries.
You can’t make your adult child value education, but you can inform him in order to live in your house he must be pursuing a degree and maintaining a passing grade point average, or he must pay rent.
You can’t force your husband to be more thoughtful. You can, however, communicate specifically what behavior you would like to see that you would consider thoughtful. You could also make a conscious effort to notice and express appreciation for the things he’s already doing. You’ll probably be surprised at how much he’s doing already, and he may be motivated to do more for you because he knows you’re appreciative.
You can’t force people to understand they need your products or services. You can let them know what you have available and how they can purchase from you when they’re ready. In the meantime, you can improve your skills and learn how to find and market to people outside of your current circle who may already be a perfect fit for your business.
The Way Of The Warrior is not for the faint of heart because it will challenge you in every area of your life. You can’t pick and choose which areas you want challenged and which ones to leave alone. You also can’t pick the order in which they will be challenged.
But the challenge is worth it. If you choose this way, you will find far more peace and fulfillment and far less headache and stress. And, you won’t have to slap a b*tch.
I’d like to help you take the first steps on The Way Of The Warrior by giving you my FREE 3-day video challenge. Just follow the link, enter your email address, and I’ll walk you step-by-step through the process of uncovering your “do-everything-you-want” superpower.