I am very pleased to announce the launch of my first book The Beast Code: 4 Simple Keys to Unlock Motivation That Lasts So You Can Finally Dominate Your Side Hustle. From the time I first put pen to paper with the idea, it took me about a year to get it published. It wasn’t all […]
So what do you do when you’ve taken your passion—something that you love like art or writing or music—and you decide to turn that into a side business and maybe someday turn it into a full-time living? What happens when you wake up one day and it’s no longer fun and you’re wondering “Well what happened to the passion?” “What happened to the love?”
Well, if this is you, then there’s a good chance that you’ve fallen for what Dave Crenshaw in his book The Focused Business calls “The Con”. Now what The Con does is he convinces you when you go into business that the long-term payoff—maybe in your case it’s earning a full time living at your side gig or maybe it’s you want to make six figures one day or maybe you want to become rich or famous or whatever that big payoff is—and he convinces you that that long-term payoff is the ONLY payoff that matters.
And so once you buy into this faulty thinking and this faulty belief system, you over-sacrifice in order to gain that goal. You set everything aside because, after all, it’s the ONLY thing that matters.
And that’s why this kind of thinking—you gotta watch out for this kind of thinking. And you’ve got to remind yourself of why you started this [and] why you were passionate about this thing in the first place. You’ve got to take the time to appreciate ALL of the rewards of working in your passion.
I mean even if you just make a few extra dollars a month doing something that you love doing, isn’t that worth it?
So I would urge you to, you know, if you feel like you’ve lost the passion for something that you love, reconnect with it. Remind yourself of all of the rewards that come along with this pursuit and just just fall in love with it all over again.
And another thing is: don’t over-sacrifice. Leave time for your other pursuits because even if you love—let’s say music like I do (my passion is music)—I love of other things too. I love other people. So it doesn’t make any sense to push everything else out of my life trying to pursue some long-term goal that—to be honest—might not ever happen. There’s a chance it might not ever happen so it doesn’t make any sense to push all these other pursuits and passions and loves out of my life trying to pursue some long-term payoff and act like that’s the only thing that matters.
So remember ALL of the things that matter. Get grounded again and regain that spark that made you fall in love with that passion to begin with.
Ok, we’re back.
And if you’ve ever tried to do anything you’ve never done before, I’m sure at one time or another you faced your opponent, FEAR. You’ve had that knot in your stomach, that lump in your throat, that cold sweat—however that manifests for you. But you’ve had that feeling that “Oh my gosh I don’t know how I’m going to do this or how I’m gonna get through this.”
So the question for today is, “How do you overcome fear?” How do you do it?
Well, I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. The good news is, you CAN overcome fear. The bad news is, you CAN’T overcome fear before you do the thing you’re afraid of.
You see, the truth is, you’re always going to be afraid of something…
A basic fear that’s programmed—hardwired into human beings—is fear of the unknown. So until you do something that you’re afraid of, you whole entire nervous system has no program to draw from in order to get rid of that fear. I mean, it’s actually a safety mechanism to protect you from danger
So in order to get over that fear you have to have some sort of experience that proves to your nervous system that “Oh I can survive this.”
So there’s a book called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and it’s by Susan Jeffries and it’s aptly titled. And it basically says the same thing.
So just a couple of tips though. I mean, you do have to do the thing you’re afraid of, but if you have chronic fear that’s just overwhelming and constant all the time, that may be a sign of an anxiety disorder or, you know, you may be having anxiety. And that may be something you need to seek treatment for.
But aside from that—just a normal level of fear—besides seeking treatment for anxiety, another thing that you can do to manage your overall fear level is to just keep your sense of self-efficacy high or keep that sense that you can overcome challenges—keep that high by doing a lot of things that you’re already good at—things that you’re familiar with.
You know, don’t forget to do those things that you’ve already mastered just to keep that feeling—that sense that you can really get things accomplished. So that when you do have to face the unknown, that fear is a little more manageable because you have a better sense of yourself—that you’ll be able to survive it. You’re constantly reminding yourself “Hey I’ve done things before that I’d never done before and now I’m really good at it and I survived that.” “Maybe i can survive this.”
So the fear will be more manageable. It still won’t completely go away until you just dive in and do that thing that you’re afraid of. But I urge you—I just encourage you that—if there’s something that you’ve got to face and you’re afraid of it, just go ahead and do it. And if you do the thing that you’re afraid of the death of that fear is certain.
So today we’re going to be talking about “the F word.” And when you bring up this word many people have a strong reaction to it and they become very offended.
The F word we’re talking about is—no, it’s not THAT F word—but it’s the word “forgiveness”. And the reason people have such a strong reaction—often negative reaction—towards the idea of forgiveness is because they have real hurts that are truly painful that were inflicted on them by other people and many times the people who perpetrated the wrong are unremorseful. And in the mind of the person who has been hurt, they don’t deserve forgiveness and that may very well be true.
But besides that, I mean, what’s that got to do with “unlocking your inner beast” or achieving your goals or any of the other topics that we talk about in this video series?
Well, the truth is, it has a lot to do with that because when you don’t forgive someone, it’s actually like a prison. I mean, you think you’re withholding forgiveness from the person in order to punish them for what they’ve done, but it ends up holding you back. And it can affect you and hold you back and be a block to many different areas in your life including your business or achieving your goals.
So what I’ve experienced in my lifetime when I’ve gone through exercises to release feelings of unforgiveness that I was holding, it truly felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. And I mean, I can almost describe it like a physical weight being lifted off my shoulders. And it was such a good feeling that after—and I mean previously I had a negative idea of forgiveness—but after that experience I began looking for other opportunities like “is there anything else I missed in my past or anybody else I need to forgive?” because it was such a freeing feeling.
So with this video I would just like to leave you with this nugget. If you have a negative idea of forgiveness then consider how it would serve you to adopt a positive idea—a positive view of forgiveness. And just begin to consider the possibility of it being able to benefit you if you can release those people who hurt you and wronged you so that you yourself can become free.
So until next time, thanks.