I am very pleased to announce the launch of my first book The Beast Code: 4 Simple Keys to Unlock Motivation That Lasts So You Can Finally Dominate Your Side Hustle. From the time I first put pen to paper with the idea, it took me about a year to get it published. It wasn’t all […]
So today I’m talking to all of my people who’ve got a really big heart… and you’ve got a huge mission to heal and save and serve the world… and you just know with all of your heart that you’ve got something to give and share… and that can benefit everyone in the whole world… and you’re out to deliver this service to everyone… and you’re so passionate about it… and that you know you can help everyone if they would just if they would just listen… if they would just see the benefit of what it is that you do…
And the problem that you’re running into is that you’re running yourself ragged… chasing people down and an arguing with them… and trying to convince them to just love themselves and to take care of themselves and to care about themselves the way you do…
And so the problem with that is that the more you spend time trying to convince people who are quite honestly not ready—they’re just not ready for what you can provide—you’re taking time away because your time—you’re only one person—your time is limited. You’re taking time away from those people who not only can benefit from your service, but they’re ready—they’re ready right now.
And you can’t connect with these people. You can’t find them and you can’t serve them, because all of your time is tied up from doing other things besides what your true mission is, and your true mission is to serve.
So take some time, my big-hearted kind people. Take some time to figure out who your ideal client is because there are some people who are simply not qualified for your service.
Now before you get on the defensive and start defending these people, keep in mind i’m not saying that these are bad people or that they are unworthy people. I’m simply saying they are not qualified for the service that you provide. And part of that qualification means that they have to recognize the value of what you do. And if they don’t see that value yet, or they don’t value what it can do for them, then they’re just not a perfect match—they’re not as good of a fit for what you do.
So take some time—I would urge you to take some time to come up with a list or some sort of idea or profile for what your ideal customer looks like. And so instead of trying to convince people of the benefits that you can provide them, interview people try to find out where they are. What is it—what level of service they might qualify for—or if they even qualify for what you do.
And what you’ll begin to do is you’ll begin to get more of those ideal clients because you know what you’re looking for and you’re interviewing instead of chasing. And your time is free now to work with the people who really deserve—or who really qualify for what you do, and not just the people who need what you do. There’s a difference. Because just because somebody needs you doesn’t mean that you should be working with them—especially if they are not ready to see that they need you.
So, all my big-hearted and kind people who want to save the world… Please take heed to this and be more selective about who you work with because ultimately if you put people through a qualification process, you’re going to free yourself up to work with the best clients and that’s going to be better for you.
But you’re going to really be able to help more people because you don’t help anyone by just trying to convince them of something that they ultimately don’t do anyway, and then take away time from people who are ready to go but you can’t reach him because you’re busy.
So please consider this advice and…love you.
So, you can’t have any conversation about achieving at the highest level, or unlocking your inner BEAST without having a discussion on how your relationships with other people can affect your ability to just be free to be the kind of BEAST that you want to be and achieve what you want to achieve.
So I think we all know that a negative relationship—toxic relationship—can really bring down all of your energy and really keep you from doing and achieving the things that you want to do and achieve.
But I’d like to put out there for you to consider, that you train people how to treat you. That no one—if you’re an adult person—no one can treat you in a way that you don’t want to be treated without you—on some level—giving them the permission to do so.
So I’d like for you to ask yourself—if you are experiencing a less-than-desirable relationship with someone—“what conversation are you avoiding with this person that’s allowing this to continue?” And “Why are you doing that?” And, also ask yourself if it might be out of a fear of losing that relationship.
“Well, if I stand up to this person—if I challenge them about their behavior—they may leave me.” And that fear may be rooted in an illusion of investment that you’ve placed in this relationship.
Let’s consider for a second that you’ve got a relationship that’s lasted 10 years. Okay? And so, you may feel that…“Well, I’ve invested 10 years of my life into this relationship—I can’t just walk away from it.” Or “I can’t do something that may jeopardize that relationship and then they walk away from me.”
But consider this: I mean, is it really an investment? I mean, let’s say you have a return on investment or ROI of ten percent in this relationship. So is that 10 years going to yield you one additional year because you have an ROI of ten percent? I mean now, that’s actually ridiculous because it’s not really an investment—it’s really sunk cost.
So if there’s something about this relationship that’s not serving you and especially if it’s bringing you down, you need to address it. You need to have that hard conversation. And if that person is not mature enough to handle the honesty of that conversation and they leave… That’s their choice. But you have to be strong enough within yourself, and you have to believe and accept the fact that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. And have that conversation with that person no matter how hard it is.
And there may be some consequences. There may be good consequences—the person may listen and be swayed by your conversation. Or they may not. But either way, you have to address this because there’s absolutely nothing that can rob you of your energy and your power than negativity from a toxic relationship.
Today I want to talk about one of the big things that can hold people back and that’s self-deception.
We deceive ourselves in a whole lot of different ways and for different reasons. I had a particular instance that I want to share with you that taught me about honesty and it’s my date with Scarlett.
See, how this started is: I’ve got a friend who likes to use an icebreaker question with people whenever we meet someone or whenever we go out in a group. And I’ve seen this happen several times. He’ll ask the question “If you could have dinner with anybody—alive or dead—who would it be?”
He’s asked me this question several times and every time I really feel like I don’t know how to answer that question. I’d think about it, but I never quite felt like I gave the real true answer.
And the last time this happened there were several people around. One friend completely refused to answer the question. She just said “Hey I’m not going to answer that question—I don’t even know how to answer it.”
Another friend said “Well you know my dad passed away and I would have dinner with my dad, you know, because I feel like there’s some conversations with him that I didn’t have that I’d like to have.” And that sounded like a really good answer, so I copied his answer. I mean my dad passed away a few years ago and so I said “Man, that sounds like a good answer.”
But later on as I reflected, I had to ask myself “Why did I answer the way I did?” And why did the other friend refuse to answer the question? Why is it such a big deal? I mean, it’s a pretty innocent enough question. If you could have dinner with anyone alive or dead who would it be?
Well, what I realized is that people will answer questions—especially questions like that—not based on what they really want or really desire, but based on how they think another person will perceive them based on their answer.
So you’re really trying to engineer your image, or your imagination of the image that you think other people have of you—it’s really convoluted, it’s really complex and it’s really not a healthy exercise if you ask me.
So I really decided to think about this question, reflect on it, and answer it honestly.
And what I came up with was: first of all, if I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead, I would certainly not have dinner with anyone who is dead because that’s a recipe for a zombie apocalypse.
Let’s face it. I’ve seen enough movies. I know how this plays out. Okay? This ends up with everybody, you know, just a small group of people running around trying to collect weapons—particularly something that can chop people’s heads off…
That’s not what I want to do. Okay? So scratch anybody who’s passed on. You know, as much as I love my dad, that includes him. I will see him on the other side. I don’t want to see him here.
So that limits me to people who are alive. And if I wanted to—if I could have dinner with anybody who is alive or dead, most like it’s going to be a celebrity. Because people who aren’t famous, I probably could have dinner with them anyway. But people who are celebrities—they’re probably a little harder to get next to.
And then so now, out of all the celebrities—I don’t know who’s going to be a good dinner date or not. I mean, I may have some questions or things that I’d like to know from this person. But how do I know they are a good conversationalist? Especially if they’re an actor—all I know is their screen persona. I don’t know how they really are in real life. I might end up at a table with a person who’s just sitting across from me staring at their mobile phone and not paying any attention to me.
So with that being said, I said “okay, who could I have dinner with so that even if they don’t engage and they don’t talk to me and they’re staring at their phone, I can still have a good time?” And I came up with Scarlett Johansson.
I would love to have dinner with her and have a conversation with her about “The Avengers” movies and and being on screen with Robert Downey, Jr. and all the rest of those guys…
But you know, if she just SAT there and just was on her phone… hey, I’m still having dinner with Scarlett Johansson. I can turn around, snap a selfie, and make everybody on my Facebook page jealous because—like i said—I’m having dinner with Scarlett Johansson.
So that is what I learned about honesty…from my date with Scarlett.
Now this date never really happened—except in my brain—unless Scarlett’s people are watching this video and you want to set something up. I’m totally game for it.
So the whole point here is just… Take some time to really reflect on the way you answer questions because you could be answering questions out of a desire to paint some imagined image of yourself in other people’s brains rather than just being true to yourself.
And the further you get away from your true self, the further you get away from unlocking the potential of the BEAST that’s inside you. Once you realize that you are a BEAST, you can just be free to be who you are and that’s a way more authentic and a far easier way to live your life.