Tom Dubois was distraught over the prospect that his wife might be cheating on him…with the pop star Usher. To get him out of his funk, his neighbor enlisted the aid of a relationship consultant—A Pimp Named Slickback. Slickback? No. A Pimp Named Slickback. You say the whole thing…like A Tribe Called Quest. His name […]
Hi! We’re back again talking about how to unlock your Beast and in past videos we talked about how to identify the kind of beast you are and how powerful that is towards propelling you towards the goals—any goal—that you want to achieve in life.
But aside from that you’ve probably heard that it’s good to have a “why” or some main reason why you want to achieve the goals that you want to achieve. I agree that it is very important and we’re going to talk about that because I [know] several other people have had difficulty in identifying and really nailing down their true “why” of why they want to achieve their goals.and it has been very difficult.
Well, in coaching that I’ve received, I’ve been told that your “why”—once you find it—should make you cry. In other words you should have a very strong emotional attachment to why you want to accomplish your goals and not just an intellectual reason.
Also in past videos we’ve talked about the importance of emotions in humans making decisions [and] that’s very true.
So, for a guy like me this was a hard question to answer. It was something that was hard to come up with. But finding it—finding that answer—is really not that difficult once you use a reverse-engineering kind of a process.
So, here’s what I mean. The first thing you want to do—once again—[is] you want to get out a piece of paper or, you know, record what you find. But what you want to do is think about in the past what situations—what experiences have you had that have caused you to cry.
Now this is excluding times of grief and loss. Those are obvious times where you’re going to cry. We’re talking about different situations—like maybe you watched a movie and something in that movie so inspired or so touched you that you shed a tear.
Now for me it’s exactly one tear. I only shed, you know, out of my out of my right eye—it’s one tear. That’s all it is. But, there have been occasions, once I reflected on it, that, you know, I did shed that tear and wrote that down.
One of the things that I can share with you that I identified with is the “The Lion King.” Once I identified I always cry—once again that on tear—when I watch “The Lion King” and that’s whether it’s the movie or even the Broadway presentation.
And the part that always gets me is when Simba is out there in the jungle and he sees this vision of his father up in the sky—Mufasa—and Mufasa tells him “You’ve forgotten me.” And Simba says “No! I could never forget you.” And Mufasa says “No, you’ve forgotten who you are, and so forgotten me. You are my son and the one true king. You must take your place in the circle of life.” And that’s such a powerful scene.
And I had to really dig into [it] and I suggest you do the same thing once you find out what makes you cry.
Try to find some common theme. And out of all the things that caused me to cry, I found this common theme that’s illustrated perfectly in “The Lion King” and it’s this theme of the reluctant hero—this person who has this this great responsibility—this great destiny in their life but their circumstances and their own doubts about who they are cause them to to hide and to shy away from that responsibility. And then they have this this moment—this moment of truth—where they have to make a decision. Either they choose this big destiny, or just forever remain in obscurity and in the shadows.
But the thing about it is, it’s not just about them. There’s a lot of people—a lot of other characters or whatever the case may be—who really depend on this character to step into their destiny. I mean, in “The Lion King”, the entire kingdom was in disarray—you know—overrun by hyenas because of what happened,if you know the story of that movie.
So that exercise—that analysis—made me realize that my true “why” was that I just wanted to matter. I just wanted to fulfill my destiny. I wanted to know that I had done the thing, or that I’m doing the thing that I was put on this earth to do—to affect the lives of the people that I’m supposed to affect in a positive way.
So, that’s what I found out was my “why” of doing my side business pursuits. I mean, I initially started it because I thought I just wanted to secure the income for my family, but when I really got down to the core of it, it was much bigger. it was more of a purpose—transcendent purpose.
So I urge you to get out your pen and paper—get your thinking cap on. Dig a little bit. Nobody else has to see the things that you write down. You don’t have to tell anybody. But go through this exercise and see what you come up with. See if you can’t really get to the core of what your “why” is.
Welcome back. Today we’re going to talk about what you can do to boost—or raise—your sense of self-efficacy, which in past videos I’ve said that [your] sense of self-efficacy is that sense that you’re able to affect the environment or the world around you.
So the way to do that is so simple and really kind of intuitive because the times that you feel the highest sense of self-efficacy is when you’re doing something that you’ve mastered, or doing something that you know that you can—and will—perform at a near perfect level. Right?
All you need to do is think back to all the times that you’ve done something so well that when people noticed it they said “Wow! You nailed it!”, “You crushed it!” or “You killed it!” and capture those times. Write that down on a piece of paper or just speak it into a voice recorder or video yourself—whatever you need to do. Just make sure you write down those times.
The first one, like I said, when you nailed it [or] crushed it—the second thing will be when you would have done something that you got so caught up in that time disappeared, and before you knew it you looked up and hours went by because you just got so engrossed and so engulfed in that activity. So that’s another clue that you’re operating an area that you really have some mastery.
Another thing is when people ask you about certain skills or talents that you have and they constantly ask you “How did you do that” or “How do you do that?” “How do you do what you do?”
So it may take a little bit of thought because these are things that you do so well it’s like second nature to you—you don’t even have to think about it anymore. You may have forgotten that these are actually areas of strength—areas of mastery.
So the next key is—once you identify these things—is to just do them as much as possible so you can experience that feeling as often as possible. The more time you spend doing things [where] you have that sense of mastery, the more you’re going to regularly feel that sense that you can take on any challenge—even if it’s something you’re not as proficient [in].
So we know that if you have big goals in life you’re going to have to learn new things—you’re going to have to face new challenges. I mean after all, if you want to have something you’ve never had, you gotta do something you’ve never done. We’ve probably heard that. You probably know that.
But the mistake that a lot of people make is they shift too much of their focus trying to learn these new skills and pursue these big goals and these new goals—they completely push to the side their areas of mastery because after all, they figure “I’ve already mastered that. I don’t really need to spend any more time doing that. The more time I can focus on learning these new skills, the better.”
But what happens is, there is a law of diminishing returns. Because the more time you spend in trying to acquire these new skills, the more time you’re going to spend having a feeling of inadequacy, doubt or of incompetence. Because that’s how you feel when you begin to learn new skills.
So the key here is to strike that balance and to continue to do pursuits of the new skills that you need to pursue, but spend a good healthy amount of time doing things that you’ve mastered.
And find ways to work that into your overall pursuit. How can you use your mastery and your skills to reach your goals? There’s got to be some way that you can find to use your core and biggest strengths to get you closer to the goal that you want to achieve in the first place.
So that’s the topic of this video and that’s it
So in summary, just dig in, get in touch with what you do well, and make sure you always work into your daily and weekly schedule doing those things that you’ve mastered. Because it’s going to boost that feeling of self-efficacy and it’s going to make a lot of those big goals that you’re trying to achieve seem way more achievable. You’re going to have that feeling that you can take on the world.
Hi, welcome back.
I want to talk this time about my experience with depression in the past, and the unexpected lessons I learned from that experience about unlocking my inner Beast and realizing my true potential.
During that time – during the lowest time of my depression – I got to a point where all I could do was just go to work, stare at the computer screen, go back home, sit on the couch, and then stare at the TV and not even turn the television on. Just a blank screen. And the best way I can describe that feeling [is] an overwhelming sense of incompetence. For instance, even the smallest, routine tasks just seemed like they were too big to handle.
Now, fortunately, I was able to get relief from those symptoms. But that whole experience made me think that depression affected my sense of self-efficacy, which is the the sense that people have that they are able to have an effect on the world around them.
So when self-efficacy is low, then even small tasks – like turning on the television before you sit down to watch it – just seem like big tasks.
What that made me think about – or hypothesize [is]: suppose you are a person with [a] normal level of self-efficacy. You’re not depressed. You just have a normal level – whatever is normal for you – of your sense of self-efficacy. Then you’re faced with this Big Hairy Audacious Goal that you want to achieve and it seems insurmountable.
The question I began to ask is: Is it possible to raise your sense of self-efficacy so that even that Big Hairy Audacious Goal seems a little bit smaller – more achievable? And if it is possible, how do you do it?
Well, in future videos I’m going to reveal some of the tips and strategies that I’ve used to boost my own sense of self-efficacy. And I do believe it’s worked for me to make my goals seem more achievable and make me have more energy to pursue them.
And I’m going to share those tips and strategies in future videos and that’s why you definitely want to stay tuned for these videos and get in on these tips.